Trey Kerby of The Blowtorch searches high and low across the Internet for NBA-related goods you never knew you needed. You know, phenomenal swag. Email Ball Don’t Lie any relevant products you find here.

You know what’s creepy? Jack Nicholson. You know what else is
creepy? Tank tops. So in theory, a Jack Nicholson tank top would be
amongst the creepiest things in existence. Thanks to Pennant Race, we
can now test that theory. And yup, their "I [Jack] L.A." tank top is indeed super creepy.

Between the ironic chest hair, ironic cartoon of the most famous
Lakers fan and ironic liking of the Lakers, I can see this shirt being
huge amongst the hipster Lakers contingent.
I’m assuming that’s the target market, because if I tried to sneak this
in to my house I’m pretty sure it would be confiscated and thrown out
almost immediately. So hipsters, go nuts. The rest of us will keep our
tank top use to mowing the lawn.

Ball Don’t Lie’s Swag Rating: Two ironic Muggsy Bogues …

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A look around the league and the web that covers it. It’s also important to note that the rotation order and starting nods aren’t always listed in order of importance. That’s for you, dear reader, to figure out.

C: Bullets Forever. Thoughts on Fabricio Oberto becoming a Washington Wizard.
PF: Basketball-Reference.com Blog. All-Decade First Team: Kobe, Dirk, Duncan, Shaq and, um, Billups?
SF: 8 Points, 9 Seconds. Pacers finally ‘free’ themselves of the steel bear trap that is Tinsley’s contract.
SG: VFTC. Here’s the second half of Ben Couch’s two-part interview with Nets GM Kiki Vandeweghe.
PG: Barkley’s Mouth. Dennis Velasco is calling ’shenanigans’ on LeBron’s news of getting high.
6th: SLC Dunk. Sweet ride, Deron.
7th: Paul Flannery, via CelticsBlog. How new guard Marquis Daniels fits the Celtics’ puzzle.
8th: Fox Sports. Charley Rosen thinks the "Nets could easily be the worst team in the league."
9th: Disciples of Clyde. P&T blogger Seth Rosenthal waxes ridiculous over Nikoloz Tskitishvili.
10th: MOUTHPIECE blog. Corozza: "Nike is giving back the confiscated tapes to the two credentialed journalists. Curious timing, eh? Again, the excuse is as such: the confiscation had nothing to do with the actual play, but the media policy of not filming pickup games. [...] There’s still a logic hole here, though: if they are sticking by it’s against policy, then why are they giving the tapes back?"

Got a tip/link for Ball Don’t Lie? Hit me up at jeskeets@yahoo.ca or follow me on Twitter.

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New Grizzlies forward Zach Randolph poses for a portrait last week at the FedExForum in Memphis, Tennessee. Best caption and/or internal Z-Bo monologue wins Jack Handey’s new book. Good luck.

After the jump, Joakim jokes.

Winner, Michael S:
"Wow! Coach Del Negro’s head is a lot lighter than yours."

Co-runner-up, Phoenix H:
David vs. Noahliath.

Co-runner-up, Big S:
"What’s this?"
"A brain sucker."
"What’s it doing?"
"Starving."

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And I’m talking all types of love here. Platonic love. Romantic love. Puppy love. Committed love. Passionate love. Kevin Love. You should see Smith on Valentine’s Day. He just runs around dunking on everything.

Update: Kevin Love chimes in via Twitter: "Haha Josh’s dunk … lets just say there was about 10 other big names dunked on yesterday. After all, it is Josh Smith … why was it leaked? I wanted it put away like Lebrons tape!!! Danggggg. … I might need to check into the DPP … ‘Dunk Protection Program.’"

It’s nice to see some people still have a sense of humor. 

Cheers, But The Game Is On, Lang and Peachtree Hoops.

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If you’re looking for more earth-shattering NBA (or Starbury live) news, this is not the post for you. In fact, I really just wanted to get this up so I could re-use and re-work that Kutcher illustration I chopped up last September. This year’s edition is much better, don’t you think? Look at that use of blur motion.

Why the PS? Well, Kyle Korver and Deron Williams will host "Dodge Barrage," a charity dodgeball tournament, September 12 at the Jazz’s practice facility, according to Ross Siler at the Salt Lake Tribune. "The event will benefit The Christmas Box House in Salt Lake City, which provides temporary shelter to abused and neglected children. ‘We went around, checked that out, and really liked it,’ said Korver, who learned of The Christmas Box through his church."

Cost is $400 for a team of between eight and 10 members. If anyone in the Salt Lake City area is entering a squad — and needs one more thin-as-a-Mary-Kate-and-Ashley player — I’ll seriously considering flying down to participate and cover the event. Or, hey, maybe the NBA blogosphere can form a team or two. I’m told Kevin Arnovitz can dodge a wrench.

Registration forms and more information can be found at deronwilliams.net. Thanks, SLC Dunk.

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