Via Deadspin, a quirky blurb from Kobe Bryant’s cover story interview with Complex Magazine:

Talk to me about a private failure that wasn’t in the headlines, the thing that just keeps you up at night. Something people can relate to. Not necessarily a public thing, but a thing you twist and turn over.
Kobe Bryant: [Long pause] Dog [poop]? Like, I hate dog [poop]. I have a dog and I do not clean the crap outside. It’s a phobia. It drives me crazy. You wake up in the morning and you think, Damn, this big ol’ German shepherd probably just took a crap outside in the yard, and I gotta wake up and go pick it up. That is something that keeps me tossin’ and turnin’. Does that qualify?

Guess, but that’s not so bad. That’s just dog [poop].
Kobe Bryant: I hate dog [poop]. I. HATE. DOG [POOP].

You’re a neat freak!
Kobe Bryant: Not necessarily. I just don’t like dog [poop]. But the thing that really keeps you up at night all the time, my wife as well, is our kids. It’s always you thinking, Are you raising ‘em the right way? How are they doing?

Hmm. Can’t Cesar Millan train Kobe’s dog to do this?

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"He’s just got to." Cavaliers superstar LeBron James reacts to a call made by referee Jack Nies during the game against the Magic. Your mission, if you so choose, is to let us know what in the world they’re talking about. Best caption/imaginary conversation wins a cheap Whisper 2000 knock-off. Good luck.

After the jump, Dalembert starts a mosh pit.

Winner, Me/You: "We He come from France Montreal."

(There. Happy?)

Runner-up, Noam S: The Philadelphia 76ers struggle to hold back their laughter after
Samuel Dalembert tapes a "kick me" note on interim coach Tony DiLeo’s
back.

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Garbage Time All-Stars is by Josh Frankel and Mark Haven Britt: two cartoonists, illustrators and basketball fans.
GTAS post a new NBA comic on Ball Don’t Lie every week, but for more
wit and drawings check out garbagetimeallstars.com. Also, you can buy Britt’s critically-acclaimed graphic novel, Full Color, at Amazon.

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Monday to Friday, The Basketball Jones look at the big games and storylines from the night before with a mix of in-depth analysis and irreverent humor. As always, questions and comments are appreciated.

On today’s show, Tas and I discuss some of the questionable players invited to Phoenix (West, Lewis), as well as some of those who will be left at home (Allen, Lee, Jefferson, Durant). We also wonder if the Suns "give up" before they even play the Spurs, whether LBJ has found his kryptonite and hand out our "WotW."

Subscribe to the video show on iTunes | Download the .m4v directly
Subscribe to the audio show on iTunes | Download the .mp3 directly

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Magic backup center Marcin Gortat is a natural born salesman. Seriously. Dude could sell an Eskimo ice. Really expensive bagged ice. In fact, Gortat has such a way with words, that I dare you to watch this clip from The Dante & Galante Show and NOT buy eight Bobcats/Magic tickets for Feb. 11.

The "selling like a champion" starts up around the 1:20 mark.

"Oh, you’ll be interesting? How many?"

Wow. The "Polish Hammer" might do a better Borat imitation than Sasha Cohen himself.

(via The Puns Are Starting To Bore Me)

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