Chicago
at Charlotte

Not a lot going on tonight, but I do like this game. And I
do like Toni Kukoc. Although Kenny Gattison has cut off his left hand and is
trying to force him to the middle. Dammit.

The Bulls are in Charlotte
tonight, and I’m anxious to see whether or not this could be a turning point
for either team. The Bobcats played well against a playoff-level opponent in Atlanta last night, a few
more rebounds and stops and that game was theirs, while the Bulls have been
feasting on lower-level opponents over the last few weeks. And that’s kind of
why they haven’t won much.

Chicago
has had the fourth-toughest
schedule thus far, but that’s hardly a comfort when you consider the team’s
various holes, issues that are compounded by some poor (at best) coaching
decisions. Every game would hope to be a start over, when the right matchups
are met with the right decisions, but it’s been seven weeks, and we should
probably stop holding our breath.

The Bulls do have talent, and could sneak in the back door
of the playoffs despite the organizational failures. If they plan to make the
postseason, however, games like this are a must-win. Taking down a bad team
playing the second half of a back-to-back. The problem is, Larry Brown has
pared down his Bobcats, the squad is full of hard workers at this point, so
they’ll play above their heads and the referees will notice.

It’s up to Chicago.
Derrick Rose has to look to pump up his relatively miniscule assist total,
Joakim Noah has to play, Tyrus Thomas has to play well, and Andres Nocioni (he
of the 8.8 PER) has to sit. Sit
and sit and sit and sit.

Chicago Bulls: 11-12, 95 possessions per game
(6^th), 104 points scored per 100 possessions (24^th), 106
points allowed per 100 possessions (13^th). Nights on Broadway.

Charlotte Bobcats: 7-18, 87.5 possessions per
game (28^th), 101.6 points scored per 100 possessions (28^th),
106.2 points allowed per 100 possessions (15^th). Jive Talkin’.

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A look around the league and the web that covers it. It’s also important to note that the rotation order and starting nods aren’t always listed in order of importance. That’s for you, dear reader, to figure out.

C: The Wizznutzz. Good news: The ‘Nutzz’s annual Christmas cards are in the mail. Keep an eye out.
PF: Lakers-Fan.com, via Nothin But BBall. Happy Holidays from Lamar, Trevor, Luke, Jordan and Machine.
SF: The Dream Shake. The Quarter-Season Blogger MVP and ROY rankings are up and ready for printing.
SG: The Blowtorch. Dwight Howard totally looks like the Talking Heads’ David Byrne.
PG: Kornheiser’s Cartel. If the characters of "Saved by the Bell" were NBA players who would be who?
6th: Game On / Hoops Addict. CP3 says he’s already tied the NBA steals record. Well, that cocky ‘lil— oh.
7th: ETB, via TalkHoops. Six non-household names who rack up double-doubles. Click both links.
8th: Kickette. Pau Gasol, Spanish fashion cover model. (Thanks, ShareBro CRLS.)
9th: www.lowposts.com. Ten of the NBA’s worst trades of all time …
10th: TwinCities.com. Hold on just a second. Is Kevin McHale indirectly blaming bloggers for the high number of coaching changes this season? (Thanks, Sonia.)

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O.J. Mayo may be on his way to the rookie of the year award. The West Virginia native is averaging almost 21 points a game, and is a big reason why the Grizzlies have won four in a row. Last week, I had the chance to catch up with the former USC star, and found out that he isn’t that much different than your average 21-year-old.

Ball Don’t Lie: What’s the single craziest thing about the last year been for you?

O.J. Mayo: Probably just going from college to the pros. New
experience. Travel. Different opponents every night, it’s been crazy.

BDL: Has anything surprised you over that time?

Mayo: Not really … just little things, nothing major.

BDL: I heard the guys were calling you, "Juice." Is that a nickname you’ve picked up since you’ve been here?

Mayo: Yeah, but I’ve had it for basically my whole life.

BDL: Has there been any rookie hazing since you got to Memphis?

Mayo: (Smiles) Yeah, I had to take care of a TV and a Play
Station 3 on a trip. Make sure that the [veterans] got it … They call
at like one o’clock in the morning for me to bring the games.

BDL: Is it weird to think that more people showed up for your high school games than are showing up for your games in Memphis?

Mayo: Sometimes. But, I grew up in towns that were crazy about high school sports. But it’s a little different.

BDL: I heard some of your teammates have been giving you a hard time about being from West Virginia. What do they say?

Mayo: (Smiles) What’s in West Virginia?

BDL: So just the regular West Virginia jokes, nothing too creative.

Mayo: Yeah.

BDL: I read that you scored a 29 on the ACT. What percentage of guys in the NBA could score a 29 on the ACT right now?

Mayo: (Smiles) I don’t know. There’s some smart guys though.

BDL: So you think there’s a few that could score that high?

Mayo: I think so. I think so. You’d be surprised, man.

BDL: Switching it up a little bit, I read that your favorite food is
spaghetti and meatballs, where the heck do you find spaghetti and
meatballs in Memphis?

Mayo: Actually, my mom, she lives in Memphis with me, so she does a good job.

BDL: So she puts it together for you?

Mayo: (Smiles) Yeah, she makes great spaghetti.

BDL: You’ve been in Memphis for a few months now, and I’m sure
they’ve got some great food, are there any restaurants you go to on a
regular basis?

Mayo: Ruth’s Chris, Flemings …

BDL: That’s all the trendy stuff, nothing that’s unique to Memphis?

Mayo: Yeah … [getting help from various Grizzlies' personnel] Spindini’s, Gus’s, there are a lot of great barbeque places there.

BDL: You were a business major in school, if you could do one thing to improve the NBA, what would it be?

Mayo: Probably lower ticket prices, so that more common people could
come to the game … families with less benefits could come and check
out an NBA game.

BDL: Do you notice when there aren’t many people at your games?

Mayo: Yeah, you definitely notice, but once you go out there and start competing [you don't notice as much] …

BDL: Is playing in the Olympics a dream for you?

Mayo: Oh yeah, most definitely.

BDL: Is playing in the 2012 London Games a goal for you?

Mayo: Yeah, that’s one of my goals … [I have to] go in and work hard until 2012.

BDL: ‘Melo said last month that he wanted to honor Obama by scoring
44 points. Do you have any tributes like that up your sleeve?

Mayo: Nah, I just want to play 82 games. It’s a grinding season, a
lot harder than people think. I just want to stay healthy and stay
strong.

BDL: Some fans have made a website about you called OJMayonnaise.com? Have you ever looked at that?

Mayo: (Smiles) Nah, I haven’t seen it.

BDL: Do you ever hear about stuff like that and think that some people have too much time on their hands?

Mayo: (Smiles) Yeah, kinda … but it’s nothing bad. I don’t think anything bad about it, it just surprises you.

BDL: What’s the biggest difference between living in LA and living in Memphis?

Mayo: Less people [in Memphis] (Laughs) A lot less people.

BDL: When you’re walking down the streets in Memphis, do people recognize you or do they leave you alone?

Mayo: Yeah, but I don’t walk around the streets that much.

BDL: OK, so what are you doing to pass the time when you’re at home?

Mayo: I don’t know, I go to Best Buy a lot, so they pretty much know me.

BDL: Are you going to pull an Artest, and work there so that you can get a discount?

Mayo: (Smiles) Nah.

BDL:  When you’re going into Best Buy, what are you picking up?

Mayo: DVD’s, CD’s, music … electronics.

BDL: Danny Granger told me he has over 2,000 movies, are you a movie guy?

Mayo: Yeah, I’m a movie guy.

BDL: Do you have anywhere near 2,000.

Mayo: I don’t know, I’ve never really sat down and counted, but I’ve got a lot of DVD’s.

BDL: He said his top two were "Gladiator" and "Armageddon," what about you?

Mayo: I like "Godfather" and "Donnie [Brasco]."

BDL: That’s like an MTV "Cribs" answer right there.

Mayo: (Smiles) Yeah.

BDL: People give you a hard time about your last name, do you even like mayonnaise?

Mayo: I like it a little bit, [but] I’m a Miracle Whip guy myself.

BDL: Oh yeah?

Mayo: Yeah, I like Miracle Whip.

BDL: So, did you ever watch the cartoon "Doug"?

Mayo: Doug?

BDL: Yeah, Doug Funnie.

Mayo: (Smiles) Oh yeah, I watched Doug Funnie.

BDL: You’re the most famous …

Mayo: Oh, Patti Mayonnaise! HAHA!

BDL: You’re the most famous Mayo since Patti Mayonnaise.

Mayo: Yeah, I used to always watch that show.

BDL: What did you think about her? What do you think about bringing the Mayo back name back to the public light?

Mayo: I always wanted to know, if they ever made a movie, would she be hot or not?

BDL: OK, so if you could direct the movie version of "Doug," who would play Patti Mayonnaise?

Mayo: Umm … (Pauses) I don’t know cause she had a tan, so what ethnicity was she?

BDL: She had blonde hair. I don’t know exactly.

Mayo: (Pauses) We’ll go with Britney Spears.

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If the Celtics-Jazz recap is to be believed, 14-time Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps caused quite a stir in the Boston locker room last night. (Note: Glen Davis was way more excited to meet Jared Fogle.) Best caption/imaginary conversation wins a Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki footlong. Good luck.

After the jump, Dirk Nowitzki and laser tag.

Winner, y2andru:
Dirk travels back in time to assassinate Mark Cuban before he has a chance to complete the Jason Kidd-for-Devin Harris trade.

Runner-up, Noam S:
D-Wade (offscreen): Damn, Dirk, you are awesome at this. 2-0, you. Let’s start game three!
Dirk: Game 3? Oooooh, yeah, I just remembered, I need to … emmm …
throw an intervention for J-Ho’s drug problem, and, uh, now was the
only good time, because, uh, Dampier has curfew … umm … see you at
the All-Star game.

Also, Brendan K’s note killed me: "Why has nobody pointed out that Dirk’s form is terrible here? He’s exposing far too much of his midsection, leaving him vulnerable to attack. He’s throwing too much of his balance above his hips, slowing his time for getting back up. And he’s going to laser war in a gray Mavs’ Santa hat? I’m sorry, but I just don’t think Dirk is serious about his laser tag game."

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I am like Carmen Sandiego. Well, I’m like a black, male version, who has never worn an all-red suit in his life. Still, we both evoke the same question: Where in the world is … ?

If you’re asking such a question, then I think it would be obvious where I am not. I am not in France. I’m not even in Europe. To be technical, I’m somewhere 35,000 feet above Canada and, in a couple of hours, I’ll be in San Francisco. I’ll be eating In-N-Out, wearing sunglasses and playing Xbox in no time.

The next question, one that I asked Carmen that nobody else seemed to care about, is "Why?"

Well, the reason is simple; I have to find a new team to play for. Simply put, playing in Nancy was a lot like my first few months in the D-League with the Austin Toros. I didn’t play, couldn’t stand not playing, asked to be released, then went on to Dakota. The rest is history. The same is happening now. It’s different, but it’s quite the same.

When I arrived in Nancy, we had 15 preseason games. I started in most of them, we won nearly all of them, and I had pretty good numbers. Then on December 3rd, our first real game, I played three minutes and that set the tone for the remainder of my time there.

I was basically like Vinny Chase on the set of "Smoke Jumpers." High hopes for a good situation, but I basically never had a chance. I bring up Vinny because both of us (I’m not only talking like he’s a real person, but also like I know him for some reason), despite the money and the reputation of the job, couldn’t deal with our role. I think that being in France has made me realize where my balance point is between love and money. If it was all about the money, I would still be there. I’d practice hard, like I always did, and I’d spend the rest of my time as a paid tourist. Part of me still feels that it was stupid to want to leave that behind.

I was talking with my teammate John Cox, Kobe’s cousin, about how great Nancy is to play for — if you’re playing. The city is solid. The fans are great. Practice wasn’t too tough, and the competition was cool. In fact, I may have enjoyed it there too much. It wasn’t an easy decision to leave. My coach wasn’t even a bad guy. He told me straight up that he made a mistake with the roster and that if I wanted to go that we could work it out. The club treated me with respect in the end. I’ve heard of much worse stories than mine: Darius Rice and Gabe Meoneke (his blog about getting cut from his French team before the first game was some good stuff) both can play and both were cut by their teams before even a game was played.

The next question should be: "Where to next?"

I’m going to spend the next day or two deciding that. I can go back to the D-League, regain my stride, try to get called up by doing something I didn’t do last year. That’s a tall order, but I’m up to the task. I can try to sign with another team immediately overseas, continue to stack cash, and return to the U.S. at a time when everything is dirt-cheap. I’ll figure it out over the next few days then I’ll be back at it, salvaging a season that didn’t begin the way I wanted it to, but that will end with a high degree of boom-tho-ness.

So, when you ask yourself "Where in the world is Rod Benson?" the answer will be clear: He’s somewhere contemplating his next move, and soon to be making it.

Oh, and writing a poem about France called "My Horn Can Pierce the Sky!"

Rod Benson
is a Cal grad and former D-Leaguer who plays played for SLUC Nancy, the reigning French league champion. When he’s
not busy writing poetry, he blogs one or two times a
week on Ball Don’t Lie. Read his archive, pay a visit to TooMuchRodBenson.com and always support the Boom Tho movement.

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